“Hisssss!”
“Aaaaaahhhhhh! Nemo, stop sneaking up on me and hissing!”
“You jumped about a foot!
Ring. Ring. Ring.
“It’s for you Huck.”
“Yes Ma’am. Yes, I can come. This afternoon? Yes Ma’am. Thank you Ma’am. Bye Ma’am. Nemo, grab your stuff, we’re going in.”
Oh no WE are not! I’m not going anywhere. That snake is getting hungry by now and I love my big furry paws. They are one of my best features and I don’t want them ventilated!”
“Blimey!”
“OMG! OMG! Huck, you’re not going are you?”
“I most certainly am!”
“It’s a python Huck, a stike and strangle python!”
“If Grant (Momma Dog’s grandson) needs me, I’m going. It’s the chance of a lifetime. Put on the Steve Irwin video, I can’t remember whether you grab them by the head or the tail.”
“I knew when Grant agreed to babysit that snake, I wasn’t going to Lisa’s anymore. Now it’s gotten loose in the house and nobody can sleep. It’s liable to eat our cousin Daisy.”
“The only reason Grant was babysitting that snake was because the owner is trying to sell his house and nobody wants to see a house with a snake in it. Even the real estate person doesn’t want to come and show it. Besides, it’s only fourteen inches long, it’s still a baby and they just need me to sniff him out.”
“Sniff him out! While he’s waiting to drop down and strangle you? I don’t think so, I’m not going. It could strike you and put out your eye. I know you, you won’t be able to resist barking and jumping at him trying to make him mad, and I will not set a paw outside the car over there.”
“It’s something I’ve been training for all my life, a chance to make Steve proud. I’m the right terrier at the right time and nothing is more powerful than that. Now put that video on and slow down the speed.”
“Happy New Year Huck!”
“Happy New Year Mate!”
“Are you sad you didn’t get the archery set for Christmas?”
“Nope. I talked to Tom, the leader of the wild turkeys and he showed me his leg muscle. You would need teeth like a wild boar to eat him. We’re getting a Butterball from the store next year.”
“Thank the Great Dog! I’ve been practicing crawling on my belly for days thinking you are going to jump out at me with a pointed stick.”
“Ya Hoo Mountain Dew! I still might, just to hear you scream like a pup!”
“Hucky, why are there two cat food dishes in the family room?”
“They’re mine Momma Dog.”
“And did they have cat food in them when they made the trip from the back porch to the family room?”
“Maybe a little. I need extra energy tonight. I have to stay up later than Nemo so I can put out the vanilla wafers. I hid them down in the basement last week so he wouldn’t eat them and ruin everything for us.”
“What about the opossum under the back deck?”
“Crikey! Looks like I’m going to have to put the cookies by the fireplace. Christmas can drive one crackers if you’re not careful!”
“Maybe it’s because you want an archery set so much.”
“Well, I made the target already and I’ve been practicing with a sharpened stick.”
Nemo enters the room. “Sharpened Stick! Did you hear that Momma Dog! I tell you we’re not safe in a house with a terrier with a sharpened stick”
If you are of the opinion that it is too late in the year to catch poison ivy read this sad sorry so you can recognize it. Leaves of three, let it be!. My two dogs were chasing after something in the woods and when they came home and I petted them, they had poison ivy all over their coats. They got Poison ivy on my hands and under my fingernails, in my eye and over the crest of my nose. By morning I was broke out everywhere. Predisone slowed it down for several days, but then I went back to the doctor and he said ti would take massive steroids the bring this to heel. So a month has now passed, the rash is fading, the blisters are healing, my head is throbbing on the left side and I have painful joints and weariness. So wash your hands after being outside
While the boys are coloring the target, (Nemo wants to make sure the claws are bright yellow and Huck is recutting the beak to show it eating corn), I thought I’d mention my son-in-law Dale Hanson. Dale has been fighting a GBM brain tumor for nineteen months now and last week was moved from home into Hospice Care. He has endured more than anyone I have ever known and has done it with good humor and bravery. He needs 24 hour care now as his blood is too thin to clot and any fall causes bleeding. Dale is one of the boys’ favorites, often taking them up the back hill and bringing them treats. Our family is so thankful for the love and caring of hospice nurses. They are a special kind of people.
Dear Santa Paws,
It is not him! Freud spaniel has fanged out and gone paranoid again! It is a target of a turkey, if I wantd to make a target of Nemo, I’d have cut out large grain scoop feet. Anyone can see the target has turkey claws on it. Could you put a little corn in Nemo’s food bowl, I need something to attract the turkeys?
I hope the vanilla wafers make it seven days. Go Tebow! Thanks mate, Huck
Dear Santa Paws,
Do not bring Huck an archery set! He has made himself a big, blobby target out of cardboard paper and I think it looks like me. He says it’s a turkey with a big tail, but I said what is this little stubby thing right on the end?
He said it was a feather ruffled by the wind, but I think not Santa Paws, I think not. Sincerely, Nemo
“Nemo, stop staring at the vanilla wafer box.”
“Santa only needs ten. Eight tiny reindeer, Rudolph and him. Maybe he doesn’t need any. Go up to the neighbors and see if Pepper and Star are leaving any cookies out for him.”
“I will not. You eat those wafers and Santa will fly right over this house. Have you forgotten what a miserable Thanksgiving we had this year with no turkey and Momma Dog unable to cook because of poison ivy? That’s not happening next year. One of those flying dinosaurs in the corn field is going to be roasting in our oven. This is survival of the fittest. It’s us or them. I need my archery set.”
“In the meantime, could we nibble a wafer for strength?”
Dear Santa Paws,
“Good” is sort of a relative term don’t you think? I have loved my family all year and got along with fatso, er, Nemo most of the time. I couldn’t help the poison ivy, I was on a chase, and Nemo’s gorilla didn’t need that other arm anyway. I do hoard, but that’s just in case we get snowed in again for five days. I have killed all my squeaky toys, but I hear there is a new type that will always squeak even when you tear their guts out. Most of my slips have occurred during rainstorms, a hunter who cannot hunt is a pesky animal indeed. Give some poor cold dog my sweater, I would like an archery set to get a turkey for next Thanksgiving. Have a Merry Christmas. Enjoy the cookies mate. Huck
